I Need My Coffee.

A certain someone (I will not state his name but will refer to his code name “Mr. Bray” - oh wait) stated that I needed to have more “empathy” in my blog posts, which is a piece of advice that I do not necessarily disagree with.

He also stated (along with a mysterious someone I will only name by “Mr. Burrell”) that my tagline isn’t exactly of best taste. Which again, I do not necessarily disagree with. But that’s why I like it.

Still, in the best interests of my blog, I decided to change the tagline. First, I was going to change “AIDS” into “Tuberculosis Type A,” but that can also be rendered as offensive since someone out there reading my blog may have this very disease. So I decided “smallpox” is the best choice, since it has been completely eradicated from the face of the Earth except for a few select laboratories world-wide. Meaning that no one as of yet can have it, so no one visiting my blog can be offended. Unless they do have it, which then I sincerely hope they get the haell off my blog.

I am going to make myself a list of empathetic topics I can choose from for my next post:

- (Concept of) Time

- End of humans

- Humans screwing up the world

- My worst fear

- What I would do with three wishes

- What I think about the academic of life of today’s generation

Ooh I like the last one.

HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS!!!

- JANE -

Though many people are offended when someone teases us asians about our horrid “Engrish,” it’s quite hard to defend our stance when we have grammatical atrocities like these plastered across the malls in Korea:

^ Apparently, when I “put first step” in their shop (Artbox), I “can have a big smile“. “Can.” But not necessarily. It’s optional. I could have a big frown if I wanted to. Or a big dump.

^ I’m not even going to TRY to decipher this one. But one thing I know for sure is that this sign does NOT make me “everyday smile and happy.” More like “everyday make odd finger gestures at grammatically mangled signs“

The people who were in charge of creating these signs for Artbox have not just butchered the English language, they have strangled it, hacked it up with a ten-foot long machete, and then proceeded to eat its raw flesh. In the rain.

Ironic considering that most Korean mothers will gnaw off their own hamstrings in order for their child to become fluent in English. I mean, even the CIA factbook has gone through the trouble of mentioning that “English [is] widely taught in junior high and high school.” (If you want proof CLICK HERE and look under the “Languages” part of the factbook.)

You’d think they’d be able to round up AT LEAST three or four people who could actually write a coherent sentence in a foreign language that is widely taught across the country. There are rumors that the students in top English programs could pwnz0rz a native speaker in a grammar test. So why couldn’t the chief designers of Artbox just hire one of those kids?! Or were they too busy making people “everyday smile and happy” whilst putting “first step in their shop” so they “can have a big smile” to care?

By the way, those are actual pictures taken with my cell phone. And yes, I went through the trouble of standing like a n00b in the middle of the mall with cell phone camera in hand to preserve this amazing linguistic abomination to god.

I want cookies.

–JANE–